Date #46--The Federal Agent

Okay so it's pretty obvious I'm on the downhill slide into finishing my little project or experiment or goal or whatever you want to call it of going on 50 first dates in the magical city of New York. Thus, I guess you could say I have a limited number of slots left so I'm actually taking the liberty of becoming a bit pickier and choosier. For much of the time leading up until now, I was pretty open to going out with anyone once just for the wide variety of experiences it brought and extremely diverse personality types. It was only by fully immersing myself that I could clearly come away knowing what I liked, what I didn't like, what made me feel like I could fall in love in 5 minutes flat, and what kinds of things were absolute deal breakers. It's getting harder to get a date with me now. For one, I no longer respond to winkers. In the beginning I would pretty much wink back at anyone who winked at me just because I didn't want to discount them without seeing their writing style first though after 7 and a half months in the match.com rotation, I have to say that the wink function is a bit lame. It's way too easy to go through winking at random profile pics without ever even viewing the profile. Plus, you gotta imagine it's much like in real life. Honestly ladies, if some dude winks at you across a crowded bar are you not going to ever so subtly lean over to one of your girlfriends and say, "Creeper alert at 3 o'clock. That weirdo just winked at me." So even though it's more benign in online dating, I have decided to cut out the winkers in order to narrow down the choices. The one standout quality I'm really looking for in guys who actually write an email is a message with some kind of unique substance as well as someone who looks quite goofy. I've officially changed my profile heading to read, "Dorky, Quirky, Cool. That's me, but is that you?" So maybe this helps to explain why I've been attracting a bit of a fun population, and that's when I receive an email from the Federal Agent.

I was really lured in by his profile pic. It was of him holding a koala bear and making a mock frightened face. Any guy that puts that as the photo he thinks will attract chicks is obviously looking for a certain kind of chick. I'm totally sold when he writes telling me that he's in a kickball league and that he recently switched careers from finance to law enforcement. I'm thinking he's a cop, and I've been wanting to go out with a cop just because I never have so I write back asking him if he would like to go to the Museum of Biblical Art with me. Okay, this is also kind of a screening tool of my own. Yes, I am Christian, but as you know I just like museums in general, all kinds. I happened to come across this one featuring art with Biblical themes so I thought why not, and I also thought that if a guy actually agreed to meet me there, he might be worth considering. I'm halfway expecting him either to shoot the idea down and suggest meeting at Starbucks instead or just altogether not respond. But he writes back that he's actually not a museum person, but he's excited to check it out with me, and he'll meet me there. Then he throws it out there that he has to go to the shooting range (for work). I'm intrigued.

It's 6:30 pm on Thursday, and I have to say that this is my very first weekday date. I usually schedule them for Friday, Saturday, or Sunday, but time is short now, and this museum is open until 8 pm on Thursdays so I thought it would be a good opportunity to check it out. It's once again near Columbus Circle. I start walking up Broadway and manage to make it at least a couple of blocks when I realize I am going in the wrong direction. I quickly turn around and walk in the other direction past the globe. I'm only a few minutes late. As I approach the museum, I see the Federal Agent sitting on a bench in front of the museum. He's dressed very casually in a running shirt, khaki shorts, and sneakers. I'm still dressed in my work clothes, and I feel overdressed, but more than that it is just extremely hot out. It feels like spring just got passed directly over, and now summer is showing up. I'm really paranoid that I'm sweating. I know girls are supposed to be all prim and proper, but trust me, we sweat...especially in humid climates such this and Texas and omg don't get me started on the buckets I sweated in Japan while teaching in the middle of July in classrooms with no central air. Luckily today, I think the Secret is holding up.

I wave at him before I actually get to him, and I say, "I'm sorry I'm late. I was completely walking in the wrong direction for like two blocks. Have you been waiting long?" He replies, "No, not at all. Yeah, the streets get confusing around here." The Federal Agent is super friendly right off the bat, and it's really easy to get to know him. I ask him if he wants to go inside. He says, "Yeah, the museum is on the second floor." I say, "Oh, have you been here before?" And he says, "No, but I came in before you showed up because I thought you might have been waiting inside so I just saw that it was upstairs." We go up to the museum, and it's again a relatively small space--only two main rooms. We go inside, and it's filled with beautiful depictions of Christ and other famous characters from the Biblical times. It's very classic looking, and the colors are quite vibrant. I like it. I say to the Federal Agent, "So are you a cop?" He says, "No, I'm actually a federal agent." I say, "Oh, do you mean like the FBI?" He says, "It's similar, but I actually work for Homeland Security." I get really excited. This job is way more exciting than just a blue clothes cop, and this will definitely make up for not getting to meet the creepy detective from way back in the day.

I ask, "So does that mean you can't really talk about your work?" He says, "Yeah, I can't really go into too much detail." But he goes onto tell me that he works on drug cases and missing persons, and he has inside information about the failed bomb attempt in Times Square. His job sounds so cool and exciting. I say, "You've got the coolest job. You're just like Mulder and Scully." He says, "Or Jack Bauer." This, of course, is a much cooler reference to "24." I say, "Wow, my reference was really dated, wasn't it?" He says, "The X-Files? Yeah..." But he's laughing which is a good sign that I'm not too dorky for him. He asks me if I have any plans for the summer. I say, "Yeah, I'm actually taking a trip at the end of the month to Costa Rica." He says, "No way. I'm going to Costa Rica, too." I say, "When are you going there?" He says, "The end of May." I can't believe it. I say, "Maybe we'll run into each other." What is it with Costa Rica? Everyone and their mother is booking a trip there. Well, I do have to admit that the flight was super cheap, but still I've been wanting to go there for a while, but now all of a sudden it seems like everyone else does, too. Oh well, I tell the Federal Agent that it's a good thing we're going now because this is probably the last possible window when you could go before it gets really over the top touristy and civilized. He says he thinks it's probably already getting that way.

Then we start to talk about traveling which is really fun to talk about. The Federal Agent has traveled quite a bit. I tell him how I really like to rough it when I travel. I ask him what his travel style is. He says he doesn't mind roughing it, but when he gets in bed at night, he likes that to at least be comfy. I say, "Yeah, but I don't do any of that five star crap. I am all about the local experience." He agrees, but he says he wouldn't turn it down if someone was offering it for free. I think for a minute, and I say, "Yeah, I suppose if it was free I would take it, but if it's on my dime I am economical all the way." We make our way through the second room, and before we know it we are done. It's still daylight out, and it's a nice day for a walk so the Federal Agent suggests that we just kind of stroll for a bit. We're at the traffic light about to head towards the globe when he asks if I want to walk through the park. I look over, and I say, "What park is that?" He says, "You're kidding, right?" And I say, "Is that Central Park?" Oh yeah, 8 months strong and still rocking the newbie pride. I seriously say to him, "I never ever enter the park from this side. I've walked through Central Park like 5 times, but I always enter it on the other side like where the museums are." He's understanding, and he doesn't even really make fun of me though in a weird way I probably would have given him props if he did just because that was such a slow moment for me. In any event, now I know, and thus we walk.

It is a beautiful spring day. It is so lovely to see people having picnics, groups doing squats on the benches, people running. I am still fascinated by the Federal Agent's job. I ask him if he ever has to go undercover and play a role. He says just recently he pretended like he was a Chinese delivery man in order to knock on a door and see who was inside. Keep in mind he's Korean, and he's American born so he put on a fake accent and everything. I tell him I think it would be so fun to get to role play. I also tell him that when I was younger I used to think it would be fun to be a Narc and get to go undercover and pretend to be a high school student. He says, "Oh, like on 21 Jump Street." I say, "You know it." And then we both start singing the 21 Jump Street theme. I like the Federal Agent. He's silly. When we emerge on the other side of the park, I recognize where we are. We see all the horse drawn carriages, and we slowly walk by. I ask, "Have you ever ridden on one of those before?" He says, "No, have you?" I say, "No, I haven't." He says, "Do you want to go?" I'm actually a bit surprised, and I don't know how serious he is. I look at the sign with the price, and it's $50 for a ride through Central Park. I say, "Oh, but it's really expensive." He says, "But do you want to?" And the truth is, I do. I really, really do. I've been dying to go on one, and I am kind of thinking when will I get to do this again, and ok, the Federal Agent can see that there's an anticipatory excitement in me, and he just says, "Let's do it." Alright, Albert. If you're reading this, this one's for you. You requested this so enjoy the ride as so clearly I am about to.

The carriage that we pick is white with blue velvet cushions. We gradually merge into traffic, and I honestly somewhat can't believe I am getting to write about going on a carriage ride through Central Park. The horse turns onto the little pathway leading into the park, and we pass by the same squatters near the benches that we saw before. Okay, I'll be frank. I've touched on this before, but I'll say it again. There are certain things that are very specifically romantic like ice skating, riding on a ferris wheel, walking on a beach, possibly riding on a boat, and quite possibly at the top of the list is a horse drawn carriage ride especially in NYC. Maybe part of the reason why I don't feel like I need to save the carriage ride is because I remember the Brit telling me he did this with his ex-wife. It's funny because I remember the moment he shared that with me, it almost became something I didn't have a desire to do with him just because he's already had that special carriage ride moment, and it was with someone else. And I would almost just feel like it was a duplication of that first romantic moment only I'm the second girl. But then I think about something, and it totally changes my perspective. I think about my ex-boyfriend the Pianist. We were together for 7 years, and when I say we did everything together, I mean we did everything together. Not only did we play house together for 3 of those 7 years with me cooking dinner every night and us talking about our day every night, we also took roadtrips together all over California and to Texas and back twice. We went on a cruise to Mexico together where everyone thought we were newlyweds. The funny thing is that my ex-boyfriend and I entered a raffle where you put your name in a box, and my ex-boyfriend's name got picked (people actually do win those drawings), and that's how we got to go on the cruise. So that's what I mean by I would definitely not turn it down if offered a luxury vacation. The whole thing was free. We did a beach tour of LA where we would go to a different beach every week, and we definitely walked on them together. We went ice skating, and don't even get me started on the whole ferris wheel scenario. Ya see, over the course of our relationship, we must have shared a romantic moment on a ferris wheel at least half a dozen different times from LA to NorCal and even all the way in China. And those were beautiful moments that I look back on fondly, but those are in the past in some distant room in my heart and mind. When I rode the ferris wheel with the Brit at Coney Island it was equally special in its own way, and never once was I thinking of my ex-boyfriend or comparing the experience or the feeling. Instead I was present and concentrating on making a new beautiful memory.

And even when I lived in Austin the last year before I moved to Japan, I remember the Pianist came to visit me, and there are horse drawn carriages that go around the downtown area at night. We totally went on one, and it was magical and romantical and everything that a carriage ride is supposed to be, but even as I ride this second carriage ride with the Federal Agent I'm not thinking of that ride. Instead I'm in the moment, and I'm just concentrating on making this moment what it is meant to be, nothing more and nothing less. And that's why also if I do date the Brit in the future I could see us going on a carriage ride through Central Park, and like with the ferris wheel I don't think it'll be any less special because he's not the first boy I ever did it with, and I'm not the first girl he ever did it with. Like I even observed to him once, it's not like we're 15. By the time you get to this age, you've had tons of romantic moments and encounters, and it all goes into your history and into making you who you are. I think moments are stand alone things, and there's never a reason to fear it won't be as special because there's been a similar moment beforehand with someone else. Each experience is different and its own memory. It's when you compare things or even people that you start to get in trouble.

So I enjoy the nice leisurely ride all around Central Park. The Federal Agent has his arm kind of resting on the back of the seat, but he can't actually commit to putting it around me. That would make things super duper romantic very quickly. We only met like an hour ago. It's really funny because our carriage gets lapped a couple of different times by other carriages where the horse is conducting a mild trot. I start to wonder why our horse is so slow. It's probably tired. Thinking about the horse drawn carriages actually used to stress me out quite a lot because I worried if the horses were well cared for. I guess I'll never really know the answer, but at least this particular horse looks healthy and well fed, but I still wonder about the acclimation to the traffic. Eventually we wind up back where we started from. We hop off and decide to head for dinner.

The Federal Agent has a place in mind near where he lives. It's on 34th St. in Murray Hill. We decide to walk there since the weather is nice, and it's actually started cooling down by this point. By the time we reach the restaurant which is called Pio Pio, I am starving. It's a Peruvian chicken place. I am really excited to try this. I have not yet had Peruvian chicken in NYC, but I had it in Texas, and it is yums. We go inside, and the Federal Agent tells me that they serve really good sangria so we decide to get a pitcher of that along with a whole chicken and some seviche. Once the food comes, it is oh so succulent. The chicken is juicy and flavored with just the right balance. The seviche is also very tasty, and the sangria could not be more refreshing on a pseudo summer night such as this one. I remind myself that I must get to Peru someday to eat this great food in the motherland and to climb Machu Picchu. Over dinner we talk about a few of the Federal Agent's ex-girlfriends. He actually was living with his ex-girlfriend in Brooklyn, but when they broke up that's when he moved to this neighborhood just a couple of months ago. He tells me about his very first girlfriend who he terms "Crazy!!" He says she was very jealous and insecure and threatened to drive the car off the rode one time. Needless to say he got out of that, but surprisingly they're still friends. She's married now and has a couple of kids, and apparently everytime they're at some group party or something, she corners him and tells him that she still loves him. Sadness. Like I said before, by this point in life we've all got a romantic history and some stories to share over sangria with strangers, and if we're all lucky one day we'll be telling that great romantic story at a dinner party that doesn't yet have an ending because you're sitting next to the love of your life doing that thing only truly great couples do where you share the story together and finish each other's sentences.

After dinner, the Federal Agent asks me if I want to go for another drink. I say sure. We are en route to the corner bar that he usually goes to when I look up, and I say, "What's this place?" It has a star, and it looks very Texas themed. It's called Rodeo Bar. Oh yeah. Enough said. It's decided that we have to go there. Afterall, the night before was Cinco de Mayo, and I didn't partake at all, and this kind of reminds me of a bar I would have gone to on such an occasion. We go inside, and the bar looks like an old abandoned bus. There's Texas paraphanelia all over the walls like buffalo and a deer's head. There's also a live band playing some alternative country music. They're pretty good so we decide to stay. The Federal Agent asks me what I'd like. I order a red wine just to stay on par with what I've been drinking. He orders a beer. We grab a seat. I ask the Federal Agent what it's like to fire a gun. I ask him if it has a kick, and then I hold up an imaginary shotgun and pretend to cock it and fire it and throw my body back pretending to have experienced a kick. He laughs and asks, "How's it go again?" I demonstrate the cock and the kick once more. He seems to get a metaphorical kick out of my pantomime, and he tells me that it's not that bad, but it is loud. He says he actually doesn't enjoy firing a gun that much. It's all part of the job.

Okay, I'll give you the long and short of it. The Federal Agent is a lot of fun. I've had a good time on this date, but in a way I feel a bit reminiscent of date #1 Zoo Guy. This kind of reminds me of how a date might have gone had we done more than just a screen at Au Bon Pain, and I once again find myself asking one of the very first questions I had after that first date so many moons ago. There are a ton of fun, funny, nice, good looking, stable guys out there. What will distinguish one from another? There has to be something special that makes someone stand out from the pack. And maybe that in a phrase is what that oh so indescribable thing called chemistry is. It's when there's something a little extra special there that you just can't define, but you know it feels different than an average fun time. This is a fun time, but is it above average? Yeah, that's where I can't really determine the answer. I would consider going out with the Federal Agent a second time. He falls into the category that the Food Guy, the Hapa, and Sitcom Guy all fell into--definite potential but not fireworks sparks. I guess I should mention that I've decided to revisit each of these candidates a second time before seeing the Brit again. I want to know if the complaint I often get from friends of too quickly dismissing is founded at all. I want to be sure that I'm not passing up the chance to cultivate definite potential into something potentially real. Maybe I just secretly want to see what it's like to be on the "Bachelorette." I don't really, but that's what this sort of feels like knowing I've managed to carve 50 men down to roughly 5 with the clear leads and viewer favorites right there.

And in the end, the Federal Agent walks me to the subway. I already know he will ask me for a follow up date, and I know how I will respond. When he texts me the following day saying, "I had a great time last night. Drinks sometime next week?" I say, "Yes."

Museum of Biblical Art: http://www.mobia.org/
Horse Drawn Carriage Rides in Central Park: http://www.centralpark.com/pages/activities/horse-drawn-carriages.html
Pio Pio: http://www.piopionyc.com/
Rodeo Bar: http://www.rodeobar.com/